1988

Yes, the countdown has begun. In a matter of hours, the Turkey Bowl will once again be underway. This is your official invitation to participate in the fifth annual Turkey Bowl to be held on Thanksgiving morning at 11:00 am sharp, at Orchard Park.

As usual, there have been many changes in the off-season. Andrew Shelffo has bid a teary farewell to the game after watching his injury over and over again on tape; Joe Santasiere has moved to the desert to find himself; and Chris Gefken moved to Boston to become a college student, though he will be participating this year.

The most recent and startling development is Andrew Kesin's ankle injury. At press time the exact diagnosis is inconclusive, but he will not be able to play.

These changes mean two things. First, the traditional Cutter and Non-Cutter teams will not be squaring off against each other, at least not according to traditional definitions with a Cutter a person who lives at home and goes to school. (Dave Gloshinski, the last surviving Cutter, wanted to play everyone, but we talked him out of it).

The second change is that new players have been drafted. We have Chris Zusi's future brother-in-law and David Gloshinski's future brother-in-law joining the game this year. We also have John Nulty as somewhat of a surprise participant.

So, this being the case, the Executive Council of the Turkey Bowl has come up with the following teams by using very sophisticated and expensive methods. They are as follows:

Cutters

David Gloshinski

Mark Vanderfleet

Brett Jenks

Brian O'Neill

John Dimpel

Ken Hogenauer

Frank DeFilipis

Bill Parizeau

Non-Cutters

Chris Gefken

Mike Zusi

Chris Zusi

Rich Bayer

Lars Novak

Dave Mairo

John Nulty

Five men play at a time. Two down linemen must be on the offensive line, but the center is not eligible to catch a pass. One blitz by the linebackers every four downs, and three completions are a first down. Laterals are allowed only behind the line of scrimmage.

The first half will consist of two quarters of twenty minutes running time each. The second half will depend on how hard the first half was. And, as usual, MVP voting will take place immediately following the game.

There will be a mandatory meeting on Wednesday night where taunting of opposing players is encouraged. It is also recommended that each player drink to excess so as not to be in great shape Thursday morning. The meeting place will be announced later. Please contact Andrew Kesin, David Gloshinksi, or Andrew Shelffo if you have any questions or problems.

Sincerely,
The Commissioner