Turkey Bowl 2001
Thanks for keeping the Dream alive!!!
--Doug MacDonald, 1995
On the first blustery, fall-like day here in New Jersey, in the first week of November, my thoughts immediately turn to the Turkey Bowl, not surprisingly. Sitting at my desk, not wanting to work and far removed from the pain and stiffness that I associate with the Turkey Bowl in late November/early December, I spend my time thinking fondly of Turkey Bowls past. I try to remember specific plays, but I canit. I try to remember specific scores, but I canit. What I can picture, though, are the many people whoive shared a huddle with me over the years. In fact, Iive realized that whatis given me the most pleasure over the last 18 years or so are the various friends whoive participated in the Game at different times. And not just the "regulars," but the lesser-known, the random friends whoive drifted in and out of the game over time. How can I forget playing with Joe Martineau or Rusty Zusi or Nick Spagnoletti? How can I just plain forget Steve Dietz (No, really: I want to forget the guy; I canit)
But there are also those people whoive touched our Turkey Bowl lives without actually ever setting foot on the sacred soil of Orchard Park. These well-wishers send their best over Internet, looking in on the Game virtually through the Web site. Iive perused the archives and picked out some of my favorite entries. Allow me to share:
This web page is the biggest poad of compleate and utter shit i have ever seen in all of my ******* sad life
SO A BIG GREAT SHIT TO YOU
GOODBY TOSSERS.
kiss my big ******* arse
Thanks. Itis always flattering when people take time out of a busy day to compliment us on our hard work.
Mike from Canada sends his best, too. He writes:
Hey Im here to talk shit. You want to play a real turkey bowl. Come to Canada. We have been playing for five years now. We have the meanest, toughest and most drunk and high players ever. We even have some proffesionals that come back to play. Justin Ring (Hamilton Tiger Cats) Mike Morasco (BC Lions) Actually Im just here to say have a ****in good game and its good to see other guys doing the same thing. Peace..Mike Russon, The Canadian
Weive even received gifts from people, though Iim still waiting on the 55-gallon drum from Jmaples:
You guys have what looks like a pretty good Turkey Bowl and all but down here in North Alabama we have THE Turkey Bowl. Last year's was complete with an 8 on 8 matchup, complete footage of the game with expert analysis and commentation, the Turkey Bowl trophy, and about 20 hot chicks watching us. The "shit" talking has already begun for this year's game and it looks as if a couple 55 gallon drums of whup-ass will be delivered. Good luck and know that the REAL TB is happening every year in Arab, Alabama. We're here if you ever want to join us. Each November 27th.
Theyire definitely keeping it real down there. Visions of whup ass and hot North Alabama chicks never fail to warm the cockles of my heart.
But, for some reason, our little game also seems to inspire a bit of consternation in some people. For instance, angel wants to know:
you guys are a piece of shit..turkey bowl.com rules, you copy there site..get real, make something else up, you copy there game,and shit. . .**** you too. . .
A good point. A5150PIMP (Van Halen fan, perhaps?) maintains,
All of you punk ass mutha ****az who player hate on me cuz I am shacking up with your ladies can lick DEEZ NUTZ.
Now honestly, how can you argue with that? Perhaps the only way to sum up this argument is to quote frosty, another poster:
I am frosty the mystery person
I want to extend my sincere thanks to all whoive written. But what you donit realize is that the Turkey Bowl is really all about camaraderie and getting together with friends. For itis when weire together that we truly realize that only those closest to us can offer true inspiration:
You guys are nothin' but a bunch of overweight, outta shape has-beens who are trying to re-live some sorta athletic glory that you never lived in the first place. I feel sorry for your kids who will probably have to endure the "having to play sports because my Dad needs to feel competitive" syndrome. The only redeeming thing about these games is that you guys don't wear helmets. Maybe it will knock some sense into you.
Enough of my rectal spew. I'm late for my nail appointment. PK
(Please note that PK has never played in a Turkey Bowl. Nor is he likely to.)
What these various posters fail to recognize is the essence of the Turkey Bowl, the thing that makes playing in it so special Gefken summarized it this way once:
For when we go into battle on the burial fields of cutter history we go ready to stain the pools of grass red with cutter blood pumping from something we always called HEART.
The notion of teams divided along the lines of who lives where has dissolved over the years. Even the line between who does and doesnit play has gotten a bit fuzzy, especially if you remember the way I "played" last year. Itis become less about the game and more about getting together. This year maybe more than any other. If youire in town, stop by Orchard Park around 11 am on Thanksgiving, say hi and tackle someone, if you want. To make the game more enjoyable for spectators, we will be providing some sort of a tailgate, hopefully something catered by Chef Eric of Verona.
Game Notes:
The Basadile may be making a rare appearance in the East, walking like a rare desert bird on the streets of SO/M . . . Gefken is recovering from his foot surgery and wonit be playing . . . Thereis rumor of multi-generational Zusi participation this year, which means an uncle to play with Brian "Iive been busy drinking my face off, basically" Zusi . . . Townsend and Lars and Hogenauer are all anxiously awaiting the imminent birth of children . . . There may be an appearance by members of the Jenks family . . . The number of children may outnumber the number of players for the first time ever . . . An anonymous, pre-game vote will determine whether this yearis game will be the first ever to be played as touchOe
One last item. The Turkey Bowl lost a great friend this year in Chris Colasanti. Dom was a guy whose mere presence made everything better. He was smart, funny, and always looking to have a good time. But most importantly, he had heart and a heart as big as the Turkey Bowl itself. Every year for the past decade or so heis asked me if thereis going to be a Turkey Bowl this year. Then heid decline to play when I said yes. "Naw, canit do it," heid say. "You guys are crazy for playing tackle. Mark my words: someoneis going to get hurt. Mark my words."
I looked at that annual encounter as a little ritual Dom and I did to keep everyone safe. It wonit be the same this year without him.
In Dom's memory, I've unilaterally decided to name him this year's Turkey Bowl MVP and to officially retire the award. From now on, weill have a new award: the "Dominant Force" award, which will go to participant who had the most fun and contributed the most to the game.
See you on Thanksgiving.
